My Testimony of the LORD God: Jesus is the Promised Messiah and Son of God
Albert Einstein said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." The testimony of a theoretical physicist.
My dream was to become a professor of theoretical physics. My goal was to do my dissertation in an area of physics that is highly competitive with admission acceptance rates to Ph.D. programs that are probably around a percent.
I had applied before and been rejected. I had been rejected several years in a row.
Some of my advisors had suggested that I consider a less competitive area because I was competing against people groomed for this since birth in some cases, and I was not. But I didn’t see the point of that. I wanted to study and work on problems at the intersection of gravitation and quantum theory. I wanted to understand why our theory of spacetime, described by Einstein’s theory of General Relativity, couldn’t successfully be combined with quantum theory for a complete theory of quantum gravity. The problem is at least a hundred years old, depending on how you think about it, and so the funding to work on it is low and the competition intense.
But for me it wasn’t about the competition or the popularity of this area of physics. I thought this was the area of physics that would help me answer my deepest questions. What is reality? What is this all about? Why am I here? Surely, this is all bound up in concepts of space and time, I remember thinking. Maybe that’s the place to begin.
To understand what I am about to tell you, you need to understand how I was thinking at this time of my life, and how I had been thinking for a long time. When I had learned that we could use mathematics to describe the physical laws that appeared to govern reality, I bowed down to them. The laws of physics, whatever they were exactly, became the god I worshiped. I just had to understand them the best that I could and serve them as they asked me. Who else did I answer to but them? They were the truth making reality. Theoretical physics had become my personal religion.
And like many have for their religious beliefs, I was willing to die for my belief that theoretical physics was my purpose. What was I without it? I was made to discover the truth of reality and theoretical physics was my way there. So, sure, I had been rejected, but it didn’t matter to me. I would keep applying until I got in.
My wife had watched me fail over and over, but she believed in me.
One a cold morning, on January 20, 2022, I woke up to a balloon on my bed. My wife had written on the balloon, “Congratulations, Dr. Phillip Levin!” I said to her, “What is this?” She said to me, “Think positively.”
Later that day, while she was at the pool without me, I received an email: I finally got my first acceptance to a physics Ph.D. program, and it was in the area of research I was interested in!
When I told my wife, she said to me, “Pop the balloon and look inside.”
Inside the balloon was a note she had written that morning. It read: “Acceptance to a physics Ph.D. program on 1/20/2022.”
I cannot tell you how to calculate the odds of such an event, but certainly they must be low. But the staggering fact of her prediction that morning was overshadowed by my excitement and relief that I was finally in!
Yes, I was so excited at that time, that I completely missed the absurdity of the fact that my wife had predicted to the very date that I would be accepted, after years of failure.
And I had also forgotten what I had done exactly seven days prior.
Indeed, a week prior, despite not being religious, I had cited scripture to qualify for a medical exemption for a vaccine requirement. Why did I need this? Because the state of California was requiring me to be vaccinated despite the fact that I had a nearly-lethal allergic reaction to the first vaccine. I had asked if I could write a scientific explanation for why I should have an exemption, as there was good evidence, but my university, where I was finishing my Master’s degree, would not accept this. They told me if I wasn’t vaccinated, I couldn’t finish my degree. So, not knowing what else I could do to finish, I wrote a letter asking for a religious exemption from the requirement. I quoted scripture — the apostle Paul — relying on the following argument as to why I couldn’t do this to my body:
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."- 1 Corinthians 6:19
Let me reiterate this fact: I was not religious at the time, nor living a life about God, nor did I believe in ideas such as faith. I was a physicist in training, considering only scientific truths as data in my reasoning. And I used this scripture not because I believed it at the time but because I needed to so that I could finish my degree, as I knew legally it had to be accepted. I am not proud of this; but that is the truth at the time.
It worked. My religious exemption was approved. I was able to continue my Master’s degree. And finally, at last, I had been accepted to a Ph.D. program in theoretical physics.
The excitement and relief was so fantastic that I completely missed the fact that the many years of rejection I had faced had finally ended only seven days after I called on the LORD God by writing this letter in His name. This was the first time I had publicly acknowledged Him in so long. And I had missed that His response was to give prophesy to my wife about the day I would be accepted and then to make it true. But my heart was not thinking of the LORD in those days, and so I completely missed the synchronicities; the signs that He had given me to say that He is walking with me.
I soon received other offers of admission. It was difficult to decide where to go, so when I was invited to visit the campus and department of one of my options, I did. When I arrived to the hotel room, excited to visit and meet with the people with whom I might study black holes, I was astonished to find the following painting hanging on the wall:
I was so excited, that at the time, it did not strike me as unusual that there was a painting of a black hole wormhole hanging in my room. I was spending so much time thinking about black holes that somehow this wasn’t terribly strange to me at the time. However, when I was visiting with a professor in the department at the university, and I mentioned that I was impressed that they had put me up in a hotel room with a painting of a black hole in my room, she was shocked. She said to me, “I don’t think we did that.” I asked some of the other visiting students, and none of them had black holes in their rooms. “Wait, really?” I asked them. They thought it was so cool that my room had one, and I did too. But it seemed it was just a coincidence, not intentional or meaningful. And I was too busy to consider the weirdness of it much more than that at the time, so I forgot all about it. I finished up my visit and returned home, forgetting all about it.
A few weeks after my trip, I was lying in bed, falling asleep when suddenly I remembered the black hole painting. The memory of the painting had come into my mind in a very nostalgic kind of way, with a very strong feeling of fondness about it.
My thoughts seemed to be saying to me, “Look at how nice that was.” And suddenly, it seemed that I was noticing not only how nice it was to have such an encouraging sign in my hotel room – as if the universe was telling me I was on the right path, helping me make a decision about which program offer I should accept – but how much love I felt for the experiences I had had in my life, and most especially, the people in my life. Suddenly, my wife came to my mind; and I felt an incredible amount of love for her. I noticed how much love she had given me and how much she had believed in me when no one else did. And then my mother came to my mind, who had passed away years before, and I felt an incredible amount of love for her too. This continued with all of my family members. And then I noticed not only how much love I felt for them all, but the remarkable truth that they had each loved me and shown me so much love. But this latter fact – that they had loved me – suddenly took on a strange shape. Why and how could they love me like that? It seemed unexplainable, astonishing. Where was such a thing coming from? Why was there any kind of meaning, such as love, encouraging me along my path in life?
As I experienced these thoughts, I began to dream. I was neither fully conscious nor fully asleep, as I was able to think but was experiencing reality differently than in my normal waking life. As I continued to concentrate on this intense feeling of love, I noticed that I was moving through space and time towards something, but I couldn’t tell where I was going exactly.
And then I noticed something I hadn’t before: I was falling. Yes, I was in free fall. It was as if I had perceived for the first time truly what Einstein had said about space and time; that we are all constantly falling in gravity. However, I noticed not only that I was falling spatially but falling in time. I was falling towards the future! Indeed, I noticed that I couldn’t stop it! I awoke panicked, terrified. My dreams about love had become a nightmare somehow. Right away, I remembered that I could move freely about in space; that I had free will in this way. But that this free will did not pertain to whether I could go backward or forward in time.
The “arrow of time,” as we call it in physics, is of course a well-known mystery. But after this dream, this facet of my reality acquired a new prominence. This jarring fact took on a serious quality in my consciousness, as if it was the most important of all facts of my experience of reality. I could not help but notice the unstoppable march of time. That I had no choice but to go. But where was I going, exactly?
The next day, I became rather fixated on this perception that I seemed to be constantly falling in time. I engaged with the question as a physicist and philosopher, as at that time in my life, that is how I thought of myself. But as I engaged with it, I couldn’t help but notice myself becoming defeated by it. I could not seem to reconcile this new perception I had of time with my experience of free will. By the end of the day, I felt as though I was being haunted by these new perceptions. I can remember thinking that I wish they’d leave me alone, as if they had some personhood to them. As I went to sleep, the feeling that I was truly being haunted, actually, increased. I seemed now to experience the opposite feeling that I had had about love the night prior; I was beginning to feel tormented as I tried to go into sleep. But this torment presented itself not only in ideas but in total feeling. It was as if an existential dread had fallen over me that superseded my failure to reconcile this deterministic falling in time with my equally real experience of free will. Eventually, I fell asleep.
In the coming days, this all continued. During the day, I wrestled with the logical puzzle of time and free will, as well as other associated puzzles that presented themselves to me, such as those of meaning, value, and beauty, but by the evening of each day, it seemed I was defeated, and the feeling of torment had returned. It was as if someone was asking me questions that towered over me: Why are you falling in time? Why do you have some free will but not more? Why is there any meaning to my being aware of reality? Why are you awake?
One evening, I was laying in bed, having decided that I had become mentally ill. I had become so lost in my conception of reality that I could not orientate myself. I was waiting to fall asleep when I heard a voice say to me:
Who is it who carries you through time? And to where are you going?
“I don’t know.”
It is I.
I didn’t understand. Who?
Then a second voice came:
“There is no one. Just you.”
The first voice immediately replied:
Now you have seen and heard the liar. Now I tell you: look away from him and at me. See that it is I who carry all things in time towards me.
But it was completely dark. I had no vision. Again I had entered a kind of reality in between the awake world and dreams.
I said to the first voice, “How can I look if I cannot see?”
The voice answered me:
Look away from the one who tortures you and look at me instead. He is opposite to me. That is how you may find me.
And then I awoke. I remembered what I had experienced. What had happened? This was not like any dream I had had before. It was as if I was talking to someone else in my mind, who was definitely not me. The day went by, and I convinced myself that the voices had been me – that it was just my imagination run amok. So, I went to bed again, not thinking about the matter anymore.
But again, I encountered the first voice in the darkness. This time it said to to me:
Can you call yourself forward?
I did not understand what it meant.
It said to me:
Can you call yourself forward anywhere you please?
I realized no, that I couldn’t.
Can you make yourself?
I said I didn’t understand.
Can you make yourself from nothing?
“No,” I said.
Show me how you have made yourself. Call forth yourself from nothingness, and show me where your will comes from. Show me that it is truly yours. Show me what it is that you say belongs to you.
“I can’t,” I responded.
Summon yourself. Summon your next thought. Show me what obeys you. Show me how to construct your will. Call out of nothingness something. Show me why it is that some things obey you and some things do not. Show me where your will comes from.
“I can’t. Nothing will obey me. There is nothing inside of me. I am empty,” I said, as I noticed that I had become paralyzed and thoughtless, in a strange state I’ve never experienced before. It was as if I was on the verge of death. And I became thoughtless for some time, experiencing only the darkness and hearing the voice, but not understanding it. I felt as though my being had been deconstructed.
And then the voice came again clearly:
Again, I say to you, say what is. Show me what it is that you make.
But I could not make anything. There was only a kind of nothingness before me.
Soon thoughts started to form in me.
Now show me what it is that obeys you.
But nothing obeyed me anymore. Not even my thoughts felt like my own in this state. I couldn’t find where they were coming from. They were not associated like they were in my waking state.
And now?
Suddenly, I realized I had free will. My thoughts obeyed me. I had a will over them. I could will them how I pleased. And I could will into reality what was in my thoughts. Some part of the world, I saw, would obey my will.
Why won’t it all obey you?
I didn’t know.
Because it all obeys only the one who made it.
Who? Who could truly make things? Whom did all things obey?
The source.
Who is the source?
I am.
And then I was awake.
In the coming days and nights, I continued to experience the same kinds of difficult days of confusion followed by dreams where I talked to this voice inside of me that slowly and patiently showed me that it was not me. I came to notice that this voice was characterized by knowing things. Whatever the voice said, whether it led me there by asking me questions or just stating it, was true. In time I realized that this voice could not be me because of this. I didn’t know anything until it told me. When it would speak with me in my dreams, it knew things that I did not. It was as if I had met the voice of truth that has guided me all of my life, not noticing its existence was independent of my own.
One morning I awoke after hearing the following:
You may do only what I allow you to do.
I was terrified. What was happening to me? I couldn’t access this voice except when I was asleep, so I spent my days waiting to hear it while I was awake, wondering how to tell the difference between it and me.
Eventually, the experience of being able to hear the voice of my dreams entered my reality, though it tended to be very quiet when I was awake. During the day, it was difficult to hear the voice because I noticed that there was another voice that competed with it. The voice of truth, as I came to call it, would speak, and then the voice of doubt, which was that second voice I had heard nights before, would attempt to lead me away from it. I tried following both voices in my waking reality, to test this, and I found that the voice of doubt often lied to me and did not want me to engage with this quieter, truthful voice I was hearing. It did not want me to hear it at all. The voice of truth had no problem becoming quiet, but the voice of doubt was loud and full of lies; willing to say anything to cause terror. The voice of truth only spoke when it was true. But I often had a difficult time discriminating between the two voices in these days because it often was a matter of time until I could tell whether I had heard a lie or the truth; for I was increasingly noticing that the voice of truth would tell me what would happen in reality, and I would have to wait to see if it was true or not. While I was waiting, the other voice would try to interfere and confuse me.
In my dreams, the dialogues continued. The voice of truth taught me things. I came to understand that in my previous dream, I had been deconstructed and remade before my own eyes, showing me how I am not the maker but the made.
After another dream, I would awaken understanding the metaphysical inevitability of a being by which all things come about and obey. My previous belief – that the laws of physics were what determined what happened next, in the future – had been dissolved entirely. There was, I had seen, a fundamental Will over the world, which exceeded my capacity to entirely grasp but could not be denied. This entity, which had been slowly and patiently revealing itself to me, as the source of all being, truth, meaning, and reality, was located at what I now call the blindspot of the human ego. Prior to this revelation, I had looked at Him directly, as most do, and missed Him entirely because of the delusion that ‘I am.’ But I am not. He is; and I am as He says I am.
One night I was dreaming, in dialogue with the voice of truth. I heard the voice of truth say to me:
If you are not Him, then who is?
If you are not God, then who is?
And then, one day, in my waking reality, the voice of truth said so clearly to me:
There is no law but Me.
Do you see that I am the inevitable?
Do you see yet that I am, have always been, and will always be?
That none escape Me but come from Me.
That I have laid out all things in time according to My purposes.
That I am the Orderer of Time.
That you are Mine, and that you obey Me, as do all things.
Do you see that it is I that forms your thoughts?
Do you see that it is I who form everything?
That I am the Truth.
That you and all must do My Will.
Do you see yet that reality is poured out of My mouth?
You are breathing Me.
You are breathing in My breath, for it is I who breathed out everything that exists, including you. What I say is, for what is, is what I have said.
I am that I am.
The voice went silent.
And I began to see reality quite differently. It was true, what the voice had said to me. I was seeing it explicably in a manner I had never seen prior: each second of existence I was experiencing was truly being given to me, fully formed, without my having done anything to form it. I could make nothing for myself but only receive it. Sometimes these things obeyed me, but sometimes not. My perception of reality had shifted. I saw that I was more like a slave than a creator of anything; that I was given some freedom here and there, but ultimately I was a servant of this being. I was given things to give. I noticed the degree to which everything is given to me by this being.
That day, I started to notice a lot of references to the word God in my waking reality. I was seeing signs everywhere. One day, I was at a bookstore, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye a book about the history of God.
I asked the voice of truth, “Okay, are you telling me to buy this?”
But instead, the voice of doubt immediately said to me, “No! Don’t you see how you are going crazy? There can be no God!”
But suddenly, I had a feeling that I should ignore this and to purchase the book. This feeling was deep in my stomach. I almost had no choice but to follow it. So I bought it, and I said to the voice of truth:
“Okay, I hear you. I don’t understand what is going on, but I believe you. It is true. I understand that you exist, that I am not you, and that I am a slave to you. What will you do with me?”
But the voice of truth was silent. It said nothing to me at all.
Some time later that day, I began to regret buying the book, and I heard the voice of doubt say to me, “Why are you buying books about God? Isn’t this all that made-up stuff by others who have also lost their mind, just like you have now? Isn’t this God of yours the same God that made Abraham sacrifice his son? What kind of God would ask that of someone? How can you possibly think you hear the voice of God, anyway? He doesn’t exist. You are losing your grasp on reality.”
I was with my wife that day. I had not been telling her everything I was experiencing, as I didn’t want to alarm her, as I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. However, I had warned her recently that I was having strange thoughts and experiences, and that I was becoming afraid because I was worried I was losing my mind. But she had reassured me that I was acting completely normal and that whatever was happening would pass. She suggested to me that maybe I was just anxious about my Master’s thesis, which I was trying to finish at the time, as well as having to move for the Ph.D. program.
But on that day, I had become terribly confused, because the voice of truth had become so quiet that I could no longer hear it. The longer the silence lasted, the more depressed I became. I felt a heavy weight come over me, the feeling of torment I had mentioned earlier returned to a degree I had never experienced before in my life. I could not concentrate on anything else but this feeling. I do not even remember driving there, but I found myself at a beach with my wife.
While I sat on the beach there, I tried to find any thought, experience, or pleasure that could give me relief from this terrible feeling that had begun to permeate my entire existence. I took a photograph of the beach in front of me, hoping to find some kind of relief in it. This is the photograph I took that day:
But it didn’t help. It seemed nothing could. The darkness increased inside of me. The existential dread became so severe that I suddenly said to my wife, “I need help. Love, help me. I don’t know what’s wrong, but something is wrong. I think I am going to die.” I was unable to communicate anything more than that to her. It felt as though my death was approaching. That I may die at any moment.
She took me to the water and tried to distract me from these thoughts and feelings by finding something else to focus on.
We held seaweed together, and I tried to concentrate on the texture. It worked for a moment. I started to smile.
We picked up sand together, and she said, “Watch it fall through your hands. See how it feels in your hands?” I looked at the uncountable number of grains of sand in my hands and watched them slipping between my fingers as I opened them.
The reality of the being I had encountered overwhelmed me. Had I truly heard God? Or was I mad? Were there two voices? Or one?
I could feel nothing but heaviness in my heart, for I had become completely lost.
Neither voice was speaking to me, but I felt an increasing feeling of suffocation coming over me.
She brought me into the water, but I was so cold inside that I could not even feel that I was in the water.
Death was coming for me. Was this being I had encountered to put me to death now?
Somehow, I managed to drive us back to our apartment. I remember thinking I just needed to get my wife home safely before I died.
My wife said she wanted to try something else to help me relax, but didn’t tell me exactly what she was going to do. I said, “Sure,” thinking truly I might die at any moment and just wanting to be with her in my last moments.
I said to the voice of truth, “Okay, I see it is true what you have said to me. You are God, the one who has made me. I have heard you. I know that you are God. But why should I worship you? I am in pain. I am suffering. The world is evil. Why should I worship a God like you?”
I had previously recovered from a year of repeated attacks of severely painful autoimmune disease, which I had been diagnosed with, shortly after getting my first and only dose of the experimental vaccine. This disease had caused me so much pain that I was unable to walk; I was in a wheelchair on and off for a year. I remember thinking about this being of total dominion, “Why would you allow this to happen to me?”
My wife said to me, “Come and lay down on the bed.” So I did.
My wife then said to me, “Can I gently rub your feet?” I told her no because it was my foot that had been affected by this disease. The pain had been so severe that the memory of the pain had been retained in the foot; I couldn’t bear to even touch it myself. She said, “I’ll be very gentle. Let me try. I’ll use the rose petals from the beach, so it will be very soft.” I don’t remember even answering her for I felt as though I was disappearing.
I was laying there on the bed, and I heard the voice of truth come to me.
It said:
Close your eyes.
I closed them.
Now listen to me and obey everything I tell you.
So, I decided I would.
Stretch out your body. Stretch out your arms. Stretch out your legs.
I stretched everything out as the voice of truth told me.
How does that feel?
I noticed a warmth coming over my body and my spirit.
Look at how you are feeling. Pay attention to the feeling.
I noticed that I was becoming light. A warmth was spreading over every part of my body. And I could feel myself starting to lift up, to come off the bed.
How are you feeling now?
“I feel… it feels good. I feel good.”
See how you are feeling? You no longer hurt. Your pain is turning to this new feeling. You are feeling good now.
As I was laying there, I could feel a total feeling of peace and love coming over me again, like I had experienced that night many weeks prior, when all of this had begun, except for the intensity was even greater this time. The torment had completely melted off me.
It became completely silent, and the only thing I could feel was this incredible pleasure. An immense joyful pleasure had been born not just in my body but my very soul. It was as if I had disappeared into it; as if it had wrapped itself around me. I did not even know where I was, and it was not even possible to worry about a thing in this state. I was experiencing absolute peace.
The voice of truth said to me:
Do you see your body?
My eyes were closed, but I saw my body, as if I was looking at myself. And I saw how I was laid out on the bed.
Look at your body. What has it become?
I saw that my arms had been stretched out so that my body made the shape of a cross.
Now open your eyes.
I opened them.
Look at your feet.
I looked. And I saw my wife, who was at my feet, kneeling down, washing my feet with rose petals.
And then He said to me the words that changed my life:
Do you see that I have given you love? That I love you.
I was silent. I couldn’t say a word. I was gobsmacked.
Yes, every feeling of love you have known, have ever known, and will ever know, has come from me and always comes from me, for I love you, and I have given this love to you.
I looked at my wife, as she was washing my foot, which had healed from the terrible pain. I remembered when I was sick and had thought, “What if I could never walk again? How could I ever walk again? My foot is so weak. What if it cannot heal?” But now I was looking at my foot, and my wife was washing it, loving it, loving me, and I felt no pain.
I heard the voice say:
I am the healer.
And then I saw the image of Jesus, hanging there on the cross, and how my body had taken that very shape. I began to weep. I couldn’t stop myself. The tears spilled out uncontrollable. I saw that it was Him who was washing my feet. That He had instructed my wife’s body to do it. And that she had obeyed Him. That He had ended my pain. That it hadn’t gone on forever and could not, for it all obeyed Him and He had created love. He was giving me love.
Sit up, the voice suddenly commanded me.
So I sat up.
I was overwhelmed, still crying, unable to catch my breath. My wife stopped what she was doing and looked up at me.
Now say it, He said to me.
I said to her, “I have to say something.”
But I couldn’t yet speak, as I didn’t know what words to say.
His voice came, with such peace and love:
Will you confess my name to her?
I paused, trying to catch my breath.
Will you confess my name to your wife, so that she knows?
So, I opened my mouth, and then the words fell out of my mouth, without my knowing they would be there, but rather watching and hearing them come into existence, as they were formed and as they came out of me, in exactly the manner that He had described to me about reality, as He formed all of my reality before me:
“Jesus is the Christ!”
My wife looked at me completely surprised.
“Jesus is the Son of God! He has come and died for us to pay the price of our sins. And we must live and die exactly as He did, for He has shown us what is expected of us. To receive and give love as it is given to us from God!”
My wife’s face looked surprised and shocked.
There was a pause, and then she asked me:
“Do you know what the music is saying?”
“What music?” I asked.
I hadn’t even noticed that she had put music on. I had been experiencing only His voice in the background of total silence.
The song playing was “Gloria,” by Martin Valverde, a song in Spanish, which I did not understand or speak at that time.
The lyrics, in Spanish, are:
Glória Glória
Glória Glória
A Jesus, el Señor
Al Cordero de Dios
Al nombre sobre todo nombre
A Jesus, el Señor
Al Cordero de Dios
Al nombre sobre todo nombre
(Repeat three times).
My wife translated the song to me in that moment, saying in English:
Glory Glory
To Jesus, the Lord
To the Lamb of God
To the Name above all names
I noticed that the oppressing force that had been torturing me was gone. I felt peace and became filled with so much love. My fear had been replaced with faith.
My wife had told me she had been calling on the Holy Spirit because she did not know what else to do to help me. She didn’t want me to know, because in those days I was proudly anti-religious and had said I didn’t want to hear anything about such ideas or be involved in any of it. I would consider only the ideas of this world, not otherworldly ideas like those of the spiritual. And she had listened to me until this moment. She had tried so many other ways of helping me and nothing was working. So, finally, she had given up; she had laid me down to pray for me, playing worship music in Spanish so that I wouldn’t know what she was doing. She had seen that she could not help me herself and that neither could grounding techniques, herbal medicine, no other techniques, nor even logic, so she called on God, out of desperation.
And it worked.
The LORD God had answered us both.
I had asked the LORD God, “Why should I worship you?”
And He had said, “Because I am love.”
But He didn’t just say it. He showed me it. And He showed me how He commands all of reality; everything is obeying Him, always. Even more amazingly, He not only showed me, He showed my wife at the same time. It was as if He was announcing Himself to us both.
In that moment, I understood that I had been and was indeed hearing the LORD God. I was finally recognizing His voice for the first time in my adult life. When I was a baby, my mother baptized me in the name of Jesus. As a child, I had heard His voice, but somewhere along the way, the world had beaten such belief out of me. But now I could hear Him again. More than that, I was learning to see Him as well. For He is reality.
I saw how He has been with me all of my life – even when I thought I was alone, He was there, holding me and loving me. He has been showing me signs of His love all along. How could I have missed it? I had failed to see the obviousness of His presence in the sheer facts of existence and love. I had become oppressed by the evil of this age. But He was and is washing it off of me!
In the days after this, I continued to hear and see Him more and more clearly.
He showed me how I had allowed evil to enter my life. I had betrayed His most important commandment: the first commandment. This commandment was given to the world first by Moses and then by the Son of God, Jesus. As Jesus said:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” - Matthew 22:36-40
He showed me that I had sinned against Him by making for myself a false idol, worshiping a god other than Him. This had taken the form of worshiping my own understanding. I had begun to worship the creation, not the creator. I had begun to believe I could understand reality through science and through physics and that I could choose my destiny; such ideas became my gods, the idols that I worshiped instead of Him. I had bowed to gods that were not God and bowed to laws that were not the Law. But He had shown me that they are not gods nor the law; He is the Law.
I had begun to obey the voice of Satan, who is the voice of doubt, the accuser of the LORD God, whom Jesus spoke about, and whom He had allowed me to hear in those tortured moments leading up to His revelation. I was not living a life of love of God and His children but of worshiping idols, tempted by Satan to do so, who hates Him that is the source of glory and love. But the LORD God had never allowed me to fully prostrate myself to the evil one or his many evil spirits. Because of my sin I suffered, but He used this to show me who His evil accuser is; the one who is responsible for the fall of creation and all suffering. The LORD God showed me how these evils were destroyed, and how He healed me, and how He brought me back to walk alongside Him. He is teaching me now, even in this moment as I write this, how to see and hear Him and to stay away from Satan.
He has said to me, “Now I have made you now to glorify Me. To be a bellsheep whom has seen the Good Shepherd. I have made you to go out into the world and to speak about Me. To tell the world of My love. To warn of the evil one and those who follow him, whom I am putting to death at the end of time. To tell the world of My Son, who has taught how to live in this age, who has saved you and My other scattered sheep, and what is expected of each to enter the age that is to come: the Eternal Kingdom of the LORD God. For in the coming age, My people will know suffering no more, as I will dwell with My people forever.”
Since those early days of beginning to walk with my LORD, I continue to learn how to hear and see Him in this age, for He is with us all even now, and as we will each see, has always been and will always be.
I do not know all the answers to all the questions. But I do know this: the LORD God is true. He is The Love. And He is The Good. And He saves all who call on Him. I am but a humble servant and prophet of the LORD God that is, and was, and is to come.
I will continue to write about my LORD on my blog, God and the World to Come, as He commands me to.
And as He has commanded me, I have founded the Nomads of the Messiah, a mission-based ministry that aims to spread the good news of the gospel of Jesus and His Kingdom and serve those in need.
Thank you for reading my Testimony. In closing, I pray for you:
May the LORD bless you and keep you;
May the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
May the LORD lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
AMEN
Praise be to the Lord GOD and His son, the messiah, Jesus, who saved me! He is the King of Kings! He is the Lord of Lords! And He loves you even if you do not know it yet! I urge you to seek Him and He will reveal Himself to you.
If you do not yet know Him but want to seek Him, then do so now. Begin by praying the following out loud:
LORD God, I am looking for you and need you. Please show me your love, my LORD. Please speak to me, my LORD, for your humble servant is listening. In the name of your Son, Jesus, I pray this. AMEN.
I have prayed too He will find you and save you.
If my Testimony of Jesus, the Messiah and Son of God, has touched your heart, and you have heard the Truth, and He asks you to, please consider whether He has given you the means to give to others. If so, and He asks you to, we will pass along your gift to those in need. Our main missionary calling is that of charity; to house immigrant mothers and their children. This is a group that many believers do not typically focus on. But we are. Such love is a commandant of the LORD God, who said in the Book of Deuteronomy: “[The LORD God] loves the foreigners… and gives to them…. So then, show love for those foreigners, because you were once foreigners…” And I testify of this love, for the LORD God revealed Himself to me using an immigrant whom he loves (my wife). You can give by clicking the button below; all donations go directly to this group to help house them.
This is a worthy story....